You would think the scowling face and death stare would alert my colleagues to the fact that I am in a bad bad black mood today. Perhaps they see this as a 'red rag to a bull' because one of them, who shall remain nameless, would appear to be trying to make my day even worse than it was by 8.22am this morning (when I awoke to the sounds of my cat flicking and dumping earth from my pot plant onto the floor)by ranting incessantly about how he can't get his email to work and would I please sort it out (answer: no, not my job).

Apart from the earth flicking, I have also spilt water on myself, on the floor and splashed some on an unknown colleague, I have almost choked on a piece of dill on my tuna sandwich and I have been told that I am not eligible for the share scheme in work until next year!

SOMEBODY GIVE ME A BREAK!:##